Laws of Physics
Cohn's Law. The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all of your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.
MacPherson’s Theory of Entropy. It requires less energy to take an object out of its proper place than to put it back.
Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics. Things get worse under pressure.
Washlesky’s Law. Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.
Jose’s Axiom. Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent.
Corollary. Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary.
Imbesi’s Law of the Conservation of Filth. In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.
Freeman’s Extension. …but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.
The Titanic Effect. The severity with which a system fails is proportional to the strength of the designer’s belief that it cannot fail.
Rap’s Law of Inanimate Reproduction. If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.
An Engineer. An Engineer is one who passes as an exacting expert on the strength of being able to turn out with prolific fortitude strings of incomprehensible formulae calculated with micrometric assumptions which are based on debatable figures acquired from inconclusive tests and quite incomplete experiments carried out with instruments of problematic accuracy by persons of doubtful reliability and rather dubious mentality, with the particular anticipation of disconcerting and annoying everyone outside of their own fraternity.